Running

I hate running. I hate it with the burning fire of a thousand suns. I once promised myself that, after surviving the hell that was high school gym class, I would never again run unless something large and clawed was chasing me.

Unfortunately, I hate being out of shape just a little bit more than I hate running.

I spent a lot of years being very, very out of shape. At the end of my sixth grade year I got really sick, and was homebound for six weeks. My asthma, formerly a fairly minor case that was only really triggered with smoke or heavy exercise, got really bad. I was on steroids for my lungs and I gained a significant amount of weight. Moving at all was very difficult. Being in middle school just made the problem worse--it's not a good time to be overweight, particularly if you also stand out for being tall and kind of nerdy.

It took a long time for me to get comfortable in my skin. I lost most of the weight, though it took years and I am by no means thin now. What I am, is capable. I am in good shape, I can climb a mountain or bike for miles or lift  heavy things that need to be lifted. I have come a long way from having to rest between flights of stairs.

When I moved at the start of this summer, the two things, other than my family, that I knew I would miss the most were having a regular, reliable mechanic who I knew, and having a gym membership. Because without a gym with assorted exciting fitness classes, staying in shape gets a lot harder, and without a job--I am still looking--I couldn't justify the price. I would have to do the unthinkable. Go running.

Run. Regularly. Even though it still makes me want to die or throw up. I am in good overall shape, but running, I think,  is sort of a specialized skill that my muscles still protest. I have actually improved a lot this summer. The percentage of my route that I walk has gone down, and I have gotten faster. But it still sucks, and I still hate it, and I am writing this blog post in part to delay having to put my shoes on and hit the street.

But I guess my time is up, and I have to go. Tomorrow is my first real day of school--I have four days of 8-5 in person classes before the online lessons start, and that doesn't leave me with lots of time to exercise. So I really have no excuse to not go today.

Damn it. I hate running.